Tips for Hard Conversations with Smaller Humans

If you’re raising a deeply feeling child, you know what that really means: your kid has a PhD in “I notice EVERYTHING,” from the tiniest tone in your voice to the tragic trajectory of a squirrel in your yard. And when life drops the big stuff on the table — a friend moving away, a family member getting sick, or even the loss of a beloved pet — suddenly your kitchen table is the UN headquarters for emotional negotiations.
Here’s the thing: yes, it’s intense. Yes, your heart might get stomped on a little every time they cry. But those big feelings? They’re a superpower. And with a little honesty, a dash of humor, and some well-timed storytelling, you can guide your child through the hard stuff without turning your living room into a full-blown therapy session.
Here are five tips to help you talk about the tough stuff without losing your mind — or your sense of humor.



1. Start with honesty — in kid-sized doses
Children can sense when something is “off,” so honest communication builds trust. Share the truth in simple, age-appropriate language, and add details only as they ask for more.
Example: “Grandpa is sick and the doctors are helping him. We don’t know everything yet, but we’ll keep talking about it together.”
2. Let them lead with questions
Kids often process information slowly and in pieces. Give them time to ask — and re-ask — their questions. Your calm, patient answers matter more than having a “perfect” response.
Tip: It’s okay to say, “That’s a great question. I’m still learning about it too.”
3. Name and normalize feelings
Children learn emotional resilience by seeing their feelings acknowledged, not dismissed.
Say things like: “It makes sense you feel sad that your friend is moving. I feel sad too.”
This helps them understand emotions aren’t “bad” — they’re part of loving and caring deeply.  Name their fears.  Don't shy away from discussing their worst case scenarios; it helps when you have facts to back them up.  
4. Use stories and play to process big emotions
Books, pretend play, and drawing can help kids make sense of complex topics. Stories like You Have a Friend Who Is Moving or You Have a Friend in Foster Care give them language and a safe window into experiences that might mirror their own or a friend’s.  If these aren't the topics you need, visit your library.  Asking librarians helps them understand what their community is going through.  Librarians are like community ninjas who speak in Dewey Decimal code.  
5. Revisit the conversation — it’s not one-and-done
Children’s understanding grows as they do. Check back in after the initial talk:
“Remember when we talked about Bella going to foster care? How are you feeling about that now?”
Ongoing conversations show that big topics are safe to return to, again and again.